Taking A Break

It's really strange but I've been feeling all lost and jaded for the past week or so. Something's missing for sure. I'm sure I ain't happy. I'm going through a certain phase where I just need to be at peace with myself.

Peace is hard to find. I greatly appreciate the rarified moments when I'm able to just sit down on a bench and realise that everything else around me is muted and all I can hear is the wind blowing against my face.

I should just go to the beach one day and suck in the sea breeze. Will that alleviate me from this current state that I'm in? Nah... but at least it'll make me feel a little better. Oh well.

It's so strange... To be at home at this time on a Thursday night. I should be swingin' away with everyone else at Jitterbugs tonight! My 100% record at Swing Fling is shattered! Oh well... nothing lasts forever. It was some record that I've kept going for almost 6 months! Guess I'll not be going for a while as all the people around me ain't going. Sigh... No pull factor anymore... and it doesn't help if I've got a bad sprained back that ain't recovering quick enough! *Grumbles*

There's a downside in everyone's story...

Just the other day, I caught a movie, "The Mother", with Igs and Jos. It's about a elderly woman rediscovering her sexual self. The sex, nudity and one very visually traumatic orgasmic scene in the movie did not get me thinking as much as the very real message that the movie carried.

"What do you do with you old aging parents?" How will you handle them?

Seriously, I've no idea how I'll handle my old folks. It'll be different if you already had a family of your own and all of a sudden, you have to care for your old aging parents as well?

Whats the fucking problem? They brought you into this not-so-wonderful world... but they gave you life, an education and almost everything you needed! It's only right to give back whole-heartedly right?

If the world wasn't so driven and dependent on people producing results, then perhaps we'll be able to do just that. Spending quality time for everyone that's important to you in life and such. But no! Today in this over driven world, everyone's going at each other throats so that they can bring the food back home to feed their families. This is the modern way of survival is guess? Climb as fucking high as you can and bring back as much as you possibly can with all your limbs to provide for the people you love?

And in the process, you lose your soul? You lose the simple understanding that one doesn't need to be bloody well to do just to be truly happy. I think I'm sad that I'm living in such a driven society. I want to have things nice and slow and yet be able to be happily chilling with my friends and family without having to worry bout what I have to do tomorrow at the office.

It's something that ain't really possible. We need a break once in a while. I think I need mine.