I know I'm veering dangerously close to some sort of breakdown again. I had one last year... around this time, in May. I just broke down and cried like I've never cried before. Being hurt never felt so bad before. But this year, I'm experiencing a different kind of feeling. Things have been going progessively downhill for the longest time now and it's only a matter of time when I crack again. I wonder hows it gonna be this time around.

These days, I've been lacking the motivation to even get out of bed and get off to work. I'm feeling exhausted and to a certain extent, lifeless. The gung ho spirit that lives in me has disappeared. I'm just perpetually depressed. Even my friends are telling me that I wear a sulk on my face.

The worst thing is that I don't know how to beat this thing. I don't want to suffer another mental breakdown this time. Last year really stank like mad with that lousy breakdown. So... I can only hope that things that a turn for the better and pick up from here. Let me try to get my groove that I so badly need back!

If that happens... it'll be a very good birthday present for myself.